So i take my time. Formulate what I want to say, how I want to say it, which words would be most effective in conveying my perspective. I take the time to think critically and decide which form of communication would be most efficient. And you dead my progress with a few simple words. ["let's talk tomorrow"] and me being the uber sweetheart i am i smile pleasantly and acquiesce to your demands. Feeling the discontent growing with every syllable you utter. I dont know how to handle this. I'm trying to do everything in my power to avoid confrontation and conflict. Yet every time I let it slide I feel more and more disappointed with myself. Honey, how can I say this delicately without hurting your feelings? You don't deserve half of the shit I allow you to get away with. I dont want the headaches so I dont start the argument. I'm starting to think im being fake to myself because I feel a certain way and I haven't spoken on it. You say tomorrow... but the tomorrow you speaks of will never come. What do you want from me? Yes, I like you. With that comes the desire to be admired and adored by you. Yes I want attention from you. Why is that a bad thing?? Yes I et upset when I dont get the attention I feel you should give me. This is how a crush works. You need to put out equal amounts of what a put in. Duh! Tomorrow.... is the last day. Mark My Words.
Now on to [you]
I dont know what this rift is between us that I'm feeling but its been there for the last week. We went from talking and chilling all day to you hiding shit from me and keeping secrets. Aren't we supposed to be friends? So why do I feel such distance between us? Why do I feel like you're separating yourself from me? I'm not sure if its my mind playing tricks on me or if this is real. As friends we should be able to talk about this, but you allegedly feel as if I'll be unresponsive and I'm still not sure if there really is distance or im just tripping. ugh. I don't even know how to talk to you anymore. Have I done something to offend you? Have I stepped outside of the predetermined boundaries of this friendship without being aware of it? Have my subconscious desires been portrayed in my actions? Am I doing too much and I dont even know it? I mean really! what's going on?? And why arent we able to be open and frank about it like fckin grown ups? If you feel a certain way why wont you just say it? I havent said anything because I dont even know if there is a problem!! ugh! This situation needs to work itself out. ASAP. Get over or get lost.
1 comment:
Well, hold off on that much needed talk as long as you'd like, but you know that it needed to be spoken YESTERDAY if it's on your mind and heart. If this person is avoiding communication already, which is the key, that's not a good sign. Perhaps I don’t know tht entire story, well I know I don’t. Good luck though, I hope the talk goes well.
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